Tag Archives: relationships

#AtoZChallenge2017 Parenting After Loss, Day 24, Letter X – X-Rated Time

Every parent needs this type of time, either with their partner or by themselves. 😉 Loss parents are no different, it just might take a while to get into it.

After loss it is very easy to lose your mojo. You can become very numb and cannot see the point of being intimate or you may struggle being close to your partner again. You might not want to become pregnant again and so avoid any type of touching so it doesn’t lead to sex.

There also might be feelings of resentment which will impede X-rated time. If you feel that your partner did something wrong or that your partner is not supporting you in your grief then you will not want to be intimate with them.

Of course you could also go the other way and crave intimacy and closeness. You may also want to become pregnant as soon as possible after your loss.

I know I majorly withdrew from my husband after losing my Milo. I just couldn’t bring myself to be intimate with him or even touch him. It felt so wrong to enjoy myself when I had just lost my son. I also felt more sad when my husband held me. I guess we had been holding each other when upset for so long and it was hard to get away from that. He was also didn’t want the closeness so our x-rated time suffered. Milo had been gone at least 6 months before either  of us felt up to anything. We may be an extreme case though.

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Capture your grief – Day 21 – Relationships

My main relationship (DH) hasn’t really changed with having my Milo. We are not closer together or further apart. We are just the same now as we were before our eldest was born. 

When it comes to family there is one who I feel I am a lot closer too now. She is always just a message away if I need her. There are also some that I tolerate. They have nothing to do with my Milo and so I have as little to do with them as possible. 

Some of my online relationships/friendships have changed too but that is more to do with time than the loss of my son. As we have got further away from the time my Milo was here, I have been slowly retreating from people who were there at that time.

#captureyourgrief