Every parent needs this type of time, either with their partner or by themselves. 😉 Loss parents are no different, it just might take a while to get into it.
After loss it is very easy to lose your mojo. You can become very numb and cannot see the point of being intimate or you may struggle being close to your partner again. You might not want to become pregnant again and so avoid any type of touching so it doesn’t lead to sex.
There also might be feelings of resentment which will impede X-rated time. If you feel that your partner did something wrong or that your partner is not supporting you in your grief then you will not want to be intimate with them.
Of course you could also go the other way and crave intimacy and closeness. You may also want to become pregnant as soon as possible after your loss.
I know I majorly withdrew from my husband after losing my Milo. I just couldn’t bring myself to be intimate with him or even touch him. It felt so wrong to enjoy myself when I had just lost my son. I also felt more sad when my husband held me. I guess we had been holding each other when upset for so long and it was hard to get away from that. He was also didn’t want the closeness so our x-rated time suffered. Milo had been gone at least 6 months before either of us felt up to anything. We may be an extreme case though.
Today is #worldbookday, well in some places anyways.
My living children dressed as the red crayon from “the day the crayons quit” and a bumblebee. The Bee costume was last year’s Halloween costume but the crayon costume took me a few hours to make.
Making the costume felt like I should have taken my home economics gcse rather than design and realisation. Trying to draw and cut straight lines on a t-shirt was a nightmare. It kept moving and curling or the chalk wouldn’t write properly. Getting the zig zags correct took both my husband and I.
I had to pin the previously mentioned zig zags to a polo shirt. The first ones of the pattern was easy to attach but trying to make sure the second halves were the correct distance from the first one all the way along was awful. I had to pin and re-pin them multiple times before it was happy.
I tried a couple of different ways of stitching them on. The first zig zag was put on using big running stitch but the rest were small stitches and surprisingly the small stitches took less time.
Once the zig zags were on I had to add the lettering. I was going to cut them from the same material but by this time it was getting close to 1am and I didn’t have the oomph anymore. I just used some precut foam sticky backed letters. The hat part was just a curled card cone.
I think my eldest looked great and it didn’t cost a lot to create what he wanted to be, even though he didn’t decide until 2 days ago.
Once we got to school there was an awful lot of superheroes and princesses. I get that these are costumes that most kids have and it means that parents haven’t got to out and spend more hard earned money on something the child might only wear once but, it just doesn’t sit right with me. A lot of these costumes aren’t derived from books and the point of World Book Day is to garner and love of reading not movies/TV shows. I also spotted a lot of the parents looking down their noses at the homemade costumes. One mum I wanted to smack the look right off her face. A child was wearing a decorated box (not sure what it was as only saw the back) and he was so proud of it that he was saying “look” to any parent he passed and she just looked at him like it was a pile of poop.