#AtoZChallenge2017 Parenting After Loss, Day 25, Letter Z – Zones

Loss parents have many zones to their lives. Loss Parent, Normal Parent, Not A Parent, Friend, Sibling, Child. All of these zones are overshadowed by Loss Parent, at least at the start of the journey.

Once the initial numbness and pain has passed all zones are still affected by the loss but in different ways. Friend zone may change as some people will no longer want to be around you as they will have no idea what to say or how to act. They may also be afraid of the tears or that they fear the loss will rub off on them (numpties).  You may also find that you don’t want to be around some previous friends because they have a child the same gender or age as your missing child.

I have all the zones listed above. All of them were affected by the loss of my Milo especially the Normal Parent zone. I wanted to talk about my son but a lot of people didn’t want to hear about him in normal play group situations or they just wanted to say they understood how I was feeling due to losing a grandparent (still a loss but incomparable to the loss of your child).

Loss Parent is an odd Zone. I find that while this zone is a constant in my life I am visiting it less and less. It is starting to not define me any more. At first all my interactions were led by the fact that I am a loss parent but now I find that I no longer lead with my Milo story (wrong word but it works for this post). Obviously this zone takes over around special dates but I would worry if it didn’t.

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