#AtoZChallenge2017 Parenting After Loss, Day 21, Letter U – Unity

Being a loss parent gives you a sense of unity within the angel community. These are other parents who totally understand how you are feeling. They also get your frustrations with non loss parents who say silly things for the sake of saying something when faced with the loss of someone else’s child.

Meeting with another loss parent for the first time is actually easier than meeting any other stranger. You already have something in common and there is no need to have the pity head tilt that someone is unaffected by child loss will always use when you tell them about your child. They also get the quick mood swings and your need to cancel plans at the last minute.

There are many places to get the feeling of unity. Some loss parents prefer social media while others benefit from face to face groups. There is a local child bereavement group to me but I have never been and now I feel that I can’t go as it would take me right back and that is not somewhere where I wish to be currently be.

My unity comes from my many loss/rainbow baby groups that are based on a couple of social media sites. My first is PAIL. The members there were the first people I ‘met’ when I was in my darkest days. They understood the feelings and they just got the need to say my son’s name when no one else would listen. The PAIL mums took me in and they were so welcoming. I now co-admin the group and give that support to the new bereaved parents. I hope I offer comfort.

I also have a couple of groups on a different social media site to PAIL. I find I don’t use the angel mum groups as much so more as I have my rainbow now and she is a large part of my life and new angel mums don’t need to hear about living children when they just lost theirs.

From these groups I have found mums who all lost their beautiful babies at or around the same time as I lost my Milo. Having people at the same point of this journey is a great comfort to me. They totally get it and we had our rainbows around the same time too which also helped as a rainbow pregnancy can be very mentally challenging.

 

U.jpg

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s