#AtoZChallenge2017 Parenting After Loss, Day 18, Letter R – Ritual

Many loss parents have little (or big) rituals connected to their angel child. It could be something small to help them get through the day or something large that only happens on special days.

I don’t feel like I have a special day ritual other than I have to visit my Milo’s grave, either with his siblings or without. My living children want to make Milo a birthday cake every year now after they made this years. Not sure if they want to do something to think of their brother or just so they can have more cake.

Whenever I see a Red Kite (bird of prey not an actual kite) I will always say hi to my Milo and the kids have started to do it too. There were a nesting pair at the hospital where my Milo spent most of his days so I came to know that I was getting close to him when I could see them circling. There was also one flying around the church on the day of his funeral. It stayed around until the service was over and then it flew off as his coffin was placed back in the hearse.

I cannot sleep at night until I have looked in on my eldest to check he is ok and I have placed my hand on the door to the room that would have been my Milo’s, looked up to the sky and said goodnight to him. This ritual started while my Milo was still with us and I had the hope that one day he would come home and be sleeping under the same roof as the rest of his family.



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