#AtoZChallenge2017 Parenting After Loss, Day 10, Letter J – Juggling

Every parent has to learn to juggle in their lives. They have to figure out the daily dance of getting their kids to school, getting one to a group while another needs to be at football (usually on the other side of the city) all while trying to make sure the house is kept tidy and food is on the table.

Parents have to juggle their wants and needs with those of their children, work and family. Trying to make everything work is a daily grind and can be so difficult to keep all the balls in the air.

I find myself juggling my need to visit my Milo’s resting place and spending enough time there with him with my living children’s need to be either warm or cold (all depending on season). I also have to juggle my need to mourn my son in my way with my children’s need to see their mummy smiling and engaged in their lives.

Birthdays are also a huge juggling act for me. With all three of them being within a month of one another, it can be a real struggle to be happy, especially for my daughter’s special day. Once my eldest’s day is done I can feel the downward spiral coming as I know it is only 3 weeks away but in that time I also have to prepare for my daughter’s day which is 4 days after my Milo’s. I can’t get her birthday ready in just four days but I also can’t focus on her days before my M’s as it feels wrong and like I am forgetting him. I know have taken to preparing all three birthdays in the run up to my eldest’s. It is slightly more stressful that way but it is less juggling.

Juggling is HARD!!!!!!

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