Capture your grief -Day 6 – Empathy 

There are many unknowingly hurtful things that have been said by people trying to make me feel better about losing my Milo (never going to happen).

Things I have had said to me by my nearest and dearest are

  • Time heals all wounds. (nope it just helps you deal with them better).
  • Maybe it was for the best. (Absolutely not)
  • He is in the arms of Jesus now. (Why his and not mine)
  • At least you have Aiden (why does having a child negate the loss of another)
  • Your life will be so much easier now. (I would rather difficulty over this pain)
  • Maybe he wasn’t meant to stay. (Who decided that, sure as hell wasn’t me).
  • God always has a plan. (What about my plan to raise my boy).
  • You can always have another child. (I want my Milo not another child. He was irreplaceable )
  • Maybe it would have been better if they hadn’t resuscitated him at birth. (Then I wouldn’t have seen him smile, heard him cry, felt him move or breathe and snuggled his little warm body)

When it comes to being close to angel parents try

  • Using the baby’s name whenever possible. 
  • Asking about the baby. I love to talk about my Milo.
  • Saying I’m sorry when you hear about the baby passing but stopping at that.
  • Offer help and assistance. 
  • Let the parents know you are willing to listen to them talk.
  • Remember special dates. 
  • Understanding that sometimes we make plans but just can’t face the world that day and have to cancel with short or no notice.
  • Don’t worry that we may cry when we speak of our missing child. You haven’t upset us, it’s just sometimes we need to let out the pain.



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