There is just over a week until it has been 4 years (how the hell did it get to 4 years so quickly) since I held my living and breathing little boy.
I can feel the hurt and the pain creeping further forward in my heart. It will soon be so far forward that everything else will be paled into insignificance. This coming week will be extremely difficult, not only for me but for those around me.
My 6.5 year old has a huge understanding this year and he randomly bursts into tears and says he misses Milo. I hate that his life has been damaged in this way. I will never regret having his brother but I regret that I can’t hide the pain or take it away from him.
I spent some time yesterday lookng for new songs/poems to mark the day but I always keep coming back to the same ones. I am loving the words to P!nks ‘Beam me up’ this year though. I wish I could hold my son for just a minute more. I have also discovered a song in Home on the Range which really calls to me.